it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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