it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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