I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
