Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
did i walk over a car last night?
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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