Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
