That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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