but the lizard people decide everything anyway
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
