stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
