I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
