i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
