I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
PS: I just woke up from my shower
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize