i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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