Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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