I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
