Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
