Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Randomize