dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
there is puke in my bra ... again
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
