I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
