So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
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