I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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