So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
