I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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