my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Randomize
