I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
