Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
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