in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I think your dad took our porno
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
