last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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