I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
