i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
