ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Randomize
