Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
