East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
