1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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