Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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