On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
accomplished twins. life is a go
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
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