WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
