Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Randomize
