We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
