Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
