Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
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