Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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