I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize