is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Randomize
