Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
