Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize