The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
