if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
