What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
