there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
