Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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