I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
