I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
