Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
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