You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
