Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
