Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Randomize
