Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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