try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Randomize
