perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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