Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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