Where did you get a picture of my penis
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
