in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
