I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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