either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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