just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
