Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize