Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
