You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
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