Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
