This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
