my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize